


That Is Quite A Lot Of Matter

by rememberwhenyoutried



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 06:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18383171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rememberwhenyoutried/pseuds/rememberwhenyoutried
Summary: Filling a prompt for teamwork between Kanaya and Calliope. Set relatively late in the webcomic. Archived from Tumblr.





	That Is Quite A Lot Of Matter

**Author's Note:**

> I'm fairly sure that in Homestuck, at the time I wrote this, the planet Kanaya and Karkat were standing on was kind of falling apart.

Calliope: yoU can do it, i know yoU can!

Calliope: it’s a case of mind over matter. even if it is a lot of matter!

Calliope: as a space player, it is yoUrs to command. ^u^

Kanaya: At The End Of This Ill Advised Endeavor I Hope You Will Come To Realize That Attempting To Coerce Me Into Utilizing My Supposed Space Powers Is Roughly Equivalent To Suffering A Vigorous And Pointless Beating With A Humorous Blunt Instrument

Kanaya: And What Even Is A Sylph

Calliope: i have yoU on record as once facetioUsly likening it to a magical witch.

Kanaya: Yes But Time Was Pressing And No Serious Follow Up Questions Forced Me To Clarify My Position

Kanaya: Which Is For The Aforementioned Record Best Expressed With The Following Face

Kanaya: :?

Kanaya: Knowledge And Understanding Of My Class And Aspect Has Eluded Me For Sweeps For The Principal Reason That I Have Historically Solved My Problems With A Deft Combination Of Meddling And A Chainsaw

Kanaya: And Just When It Seemed Like The Never Ending Crisis Of Our Mixed Game Sessions Had Reached A State Beyond The Reach Of Patient Interference And Amateur Torso Topiary

Kanaya: The Universe Saw Fit To Add Crazy Vampire Powers To My Competence Mix

Kanaya: But They Seem About As Applicable To This Situation As Everything Else In My Repertoire

Kanaya: To Sum Up

Kanaya: I Am Not A Planet Healer

Calliope: bUt yoU can be!

Calliope: what was yoUr plan if not to hold lomax together? >:u

Kanaya: My Intentions Were To Glare Pointedly At The Cracks Forming In The Surface Of This Rapidly Disintegrating Planetoid Until Jade Harley Returns From Death Out Of Sheer Embarrassment And Uses Her Actual Space Powers To Stop This Place From Coming Apart Underneath Us

Calliope: i already told yoU, jade is not cUrrently available!

Calliope: yoU’re bloody well going to have to do this on yoUr own.

Calliope: this is something i know yoU can do!

Kanaya: I Just Cant

Kanaya: What Do You Expect Of Me

Calliope: okay, hang on a mo, i’ve an idea.

Kanaya: Nothing You Can Say Will–

~

Calliope: welcome to my little dream bUbble! ^u^

Kanaya: Ow

Kanaya: Why Did Karkat Hit Me In The Nugbone With A Book

Kanaya: Correction

Kanaya: Why Did Karkat Hit Me In The Nugbone With One Of His Harlequin Romance Novels

Kanaya: I Think It Had An Embossed Cover

Kanaya: When I Wake Up Im Going To Have A Bruise Across My Pan In The Shape Of Two Clowns Admiring Each Others Festive Bulges

Kanaya: I Am Going To Murder Karkat

Kanaya: Although Im Going To Have To Wake Up Pretty Quickly If I Want To Do So Before The Planet Explodes And Kills Him First

Calliope: please don’t be angry with yoUr friend. i asked him to knock yoU oUt!

Calliope: i needed a way to bring yoU here and, well…

Calliope: yoU did say i shoUld hit yoU with a humoroUs blUnt instrUment! :u

Kanaya: Remind Me Never To Attempt A Metaphor In Your Presence Again

Kanaya: What Am I Doing Here

Calliope: we’re going to mend that planet. i have considerable space powers!

Kanaya: Then Why Do You Need Me

Calliope: yoU have considerable space powers, too, dear. even if yoU are not cUrrently aware of them. u_u

Calliope: and thoUgh yoUr mind is here with me yoU are physically there, on the planet. that helps!

Calliope: jUst come and sit with me.

Calliope: closer. hold my hand.

Calliope: pUt yoUr other hand on the groUnd, palm down.

Kanaya: Can This Really Be Said To Be Ground Though

Kanaya: Surely It Is More Of An Abstraction Currently Taking The Shape Of The Ground

Calliope: that’s even better!

Calliope: yoU see, i’ve had qUite a while to stUdy the game and the heroes who play it, and i’m certain no-one is presented with powers they cannot Use.

Calliope: not everyone Uses them, of coUrse! but they are there inside yoU and have been from the moment yoU were created.

Calliope: all the players are game constrUcts, yoU see.

Calliope: yoU are made for the game, and the game is made for yoU!

Kanaya: I Am Not Sure How I Feel About That

Calliope: yoU can think about that later.

Calliope: for now, close yoUr eyes, and hold my hand, and place yoUr other palm on the groUnd.

Calliope: think aboUt the planet, lomax. think aboUt where yoU are on its sUrface.

Calliope: where are the other people on lomax?

Kanaya: Karkat Is With Me

Kanaya: In All Likelihood He Is Scolding Me For Remaining Stubbornly Unconscious Despite The Circumstances

Kanaya: He Has Probably Invented At Least Three More Obscene Words

Kanaya: Rose Is On The Far Side Of The World

Kanaya: With Dave

Kanaya: But They Can Both Fly So Im Sure They Will Be Fine

Calliope: it doesn’t matter that they can fly. think aboUt where they are.

Calliope: pictUre the shape of the planet between them and yoU.

Calliope: see it in yoUr mind.

Kanaya: Uh

Kanaya: Are You Supposed To Be Seeing It With Me

Calliope: don’t be silly!

Calliope: seeing is yoUr job. this is mine!

Kanaya: What Do You

Kanaya: Oh

Kanaya: Wow

Calliope: i am power and i am will.

Calliope: i am yoUr mUscles and i am yoUr bones.

Calliope: be my eyes.

Calliope: be my hands.

Calliope: show me.

Kanaya: I

Calliope: don’t tell me!

Calliope: show me!

~

Kanaya: Im Still Not Sure Exactly What Just Happened

Calliope: yoU’ve taken yoUr first step into a larger world! ^u^

Kanaya: Calliope I Know Thats From Star Wars

Kanaya: Dave Wrote A Rap About It

Kanaya: It Was Called Touch My Padawan

Kanaya: It Was An Obscenity

Calliope: i didn’t know it was from anything in particUlar!

Calliope: i must have read it in a book some time. u_u

Kanaya: Thank You Calliope

Kanaya: You Are

Kanaya: Sweet

Kanaya: And I Like Your Horns

Kanaya: Very Bendy

Calliope: thank yoU!

Calliope: alas, mUch as i woUld love for yoU to stay and have a good natter with me, you shoUld probably get back to yoUr friends. they need yoU more than i do!

Kanaya: Wait What Is That

Calliope: rise and shine dust!

Kanaya: Oh Grubshit Its Gone Up My Sniffnode

Calliope: ANTI-SLEEPING MAJYYKS!

Kanaya: Achoooo


End file.
